This shall be my first foray into the blogging world. As a blogger that is. I am an avid blog follower already. It's quite daunting actually, taking this step. I've considered starting a blog for a while now, but having read so many blogs by so many very talented writers, I was more than a little apprehensive about starting my own. My insecurities shining through in the first paragraph. Awesome.
Still, I guess this should be an introductory blog. But how to begin introducing myself? How do I hope to convey who I am to the world when I barely have a clue myself? First and foremost, I am a mother. I do loathe being defined and labeled as *just a mother* but in all honesty motherhood is what most defines me. I revel in my role as mum to my adorably exhausting children. I honestly don't know who or where I would be without them. Isn't that the case for all of us though?
I have 5 children, each one incredibly unique and challenging in their own way. And number 6 is due later in the year. That's a secret btw. Only a very select few people in the real world are privy to that awesome news. Even though I'm now 19 weeks along. Most people don't wait this long to share the news of their impending arrival. But most people aren't adding another child to an already large, somewhat dysfunctional family. And most people aren't dreading the reactions they know they'll receive once the cat is finally out of the bag. So yes, for now it remains a secret. Thankfully I am a rather larger lady (Ha! Never thought I'd say THAT sentence!) and all evidence of said secret is still sheltered from the world.
So as well as being a mother (and a self confessed baby addict lunatic) I am also a partner. I don't really like the term *partner*. It implies a union, or partnership that I don't really feel is applicable in my situation. A situation which I sincerely wish was unique but one which I am almost certain is far too common.
How much honesty is required in a first blog? Brutal, blatant honesty? Or simple shades of truth? Let's try for a little in between and admit that I am not overly content in my relationship with my *partner*. Have not been for some time in fact, but that's a story for another day, another blog. Suffice to say that we co-exist as painlessly as possible. Hardly romantic bliss but such is life. For now at least.
It's hard to say what road I want to take with this blog. I'm torn between being completely, unashamedly open and honest or keeping it light and sweet and sharing only the happy, joyful parts of myself and my life. It's so hard editing out the not so great parts of life though, so time consuming and exhausting. Time will tell I guess, where this blog will lead me and what path it shall take. If you've gotten lost along the way on my ramble I'm not suprised. I find it difficult to follow my own train of thought sometimes myself. But i shall persevere and perhaps some sense will be made yet?!